Life here has been great. I’ve been busy working and trying to get everything in order as far as school goes and stuff. I officially have my associates in criminal justice and will be pursuing my bachelor’s in psychology in the fall. Assuming the college I applied to will accept me.
My mom doesn’t have internet at the moment, and I’ve been so busy I almost forgot about this blog. Ok not literally but you know what I mean.
I haven’t been the best Christian lately, and by that I mean I haven’t really been reading my bible as much as I should but I have found myself praying-alot.
I hope your holidays were good, mine were! But I kept scrolling through facebook and I felt like everybody I know is getting pregnant or engaged. New relationships between other people are blossoming and I’m not going to lie. It kinda bogged me down. I’ve been single for almost 3 years and it just feels like any guy worth getting to know is either already taken or gay.
I’ve been on a few dates, but I noticed something about myself I never did before and that was my worth. That is the most important thing. Know what you deserve and know what you are willing to put up with. Most importantly, don’t settle for just anyone.
My problem was that I’d always be searching for love which was my first mistake. If you search too much, you make yourself seem desperate which doesn’t look good on anybody.
It sucks seeing everyone I know starting new relationships and bringing new life into the world. But If I know anything it’s that God does have a plan for everyone. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.
I’ve learned that things just naturally fall into place when God is ready. It’s about God’s timing, not your own. The waiting part sucks, but I’ve found that if I patiently wait, better things are around the corner-eventually-at some point in time. And it’s hard, and all you can really do is pray for strength.
In the meantime, you live your life. I was the type of person that would put my entire life on hold until I found somebody I wanted to be with. I mean, that was me, most of high school. But looking back, I missed out on so many opportunities I should have joined in on. For example, I didn’t go to homecoming my freshman year because I didn’t have a date. Having a date was more important than being with my friends the first year of high school.
A guy is going to want someone who is comfortable in their identity, who is goal oriented, and confident.
So who cares if all your friends are engaged or getting pregnant? I don’t! I have a newfound appreciation for life that cannot be taken or replaced. If I’m being honest, moving did contribute to that because I was placing myself in a better environment and taking control of my life.
Letting the whole relationship aspect part of my life go has opened the opportunity to be there for my friends. Being single has allowed me to get to know myself even more, and appreciate the things I love and become more comfortably in my identity.
I’m not saying there’s going to be nights where you’re alone and you’re watching friends and you’re crying because Ross is about to marry someone other than Rachel while guzzling down a bottle of wine (or stuffing your face with junk food), there will be. But it’s only temporary, and the feeling will pass.
Let go, let God, and most importantly, trust His plan for you. It’ll be alright, and things will fall into place. You just have to have hope.