Tag Archives: Christ

I Surrendered My Heart: Completely

“I will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.” Ezekiel 36:26-27

I have surrendered before, but not whole-heartedly. The bible even says that we should hand our whole heart over to the Lord. Proverbs 23:26 says, “My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.”

Notice that it doesn’t say My son, let your eyes observe my ways then give me your heart. That’s not how it works. Faith is believing in the unseen.

I love what 2 Corinthians 4:18 has to say about this. “As we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

But the things that are unseen are eternal.

Let that sink in for a minute.

With that being said, I surrendered my heart. I asked God to give me a new heart, and to bring Jesus into my life. I’ve learned more about Jesus and God in the last couple of weeks than I have the entire (almost) 22 years I have been alive.

I am nowhere near perfect. I am nowhere near deserving of this unconditional love that God gave me by sending his son to die for my sins. I am a mortal. A broken mortal. But if there’s anything that I have learned, it’s that God uses broken people for his glory. I mean Jesus associated with the broken people in His lifetime.

How can one be saved by Jesus if he/she was never broken to begin with? If we were never broken to begin with, we wouldn’t need to be saved. Now would we?

One of my biggest problems was men. I am friends with mostly men (I’ve been praying for that to change), I want a real romantic relationship with a man and I am so boy crazy that I go chasing love to try and fill that empty void that I have had.

When my sponsor told me that she wanted me to stay single for a year, I (internally) freaked out. How am I going to do this? I can’t do this! I like looking at them too much.

Today, I’m not freaking out. I have Jesus. He is the only Love that I need right now. And I intend to use the next 365 days wisely. I want to continue to grow in His word and let his Spirit move me in ways I won’t be able to fathom. I’m looking forward to this journey now. God has someone for me, but in His time and He wants me to know Him first.

Thank you all for going on this journey with me. I am excited for the future.

I was lost, but I have been found again.

Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

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Giving My Testimony

Just an update, I added a new page to my blog.

It’s called “My Testimony.”

I wanted to make a video because I feel like it becomes more personal if you can see the person sharing. I was going to record it while I was sharing it at my church, but completely forgot.

I thank God that I have reached a point where I can feel like I can share my story. I pray that someone becomes impacted.

I wasn’t able to post the video directly, so I had to post it onto youtube. Feel free to check it out here

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Blessing or a Lesson

I could say this week has been tough mentally and emotionally.

Or I could say that this week has been full of growth and learning lessons. I think I’m going to go with that one.

I recognize that I’ve been somewhat inactive with this project I’m doing. It’s so easy to come up with excuses as to why we can’t do something, rather than just doing it.

After my piano teacher’s funeral last Saturday, events unfolded. I had doubts, I was second guessing myself, but eventually I made the right choice.

Let me tell you about a conversation I had with a pretty incredible woman I know. I met this person last year at my cousins wedding-she was the wedding photographer. When we spoke on the phone Monday night (because I had been confiding in her a lot with what was going on) she told me something I will never forget.

When she first met me, she knew she had to pray for me. She didn’t know why, she let go and let God. She didn’t know why she was praying for me, she was just praying for me.

I told her my story, and those that know me know my story is quite extensive. Hearing this, she figured out what she had been praying for in regards to me.

For my faith to become stronger.

So we talked a little more, about life, the bible, our journey, etc. Then this blog was brought up. She had noticed that there had been a lapse. She wasn’t seeing me posting. She knew I wasn’t posting.

She said (in her charming southern accent) “Keep doing what you’re doing because you don’t know who you’ll be able to reach through that blog. You could change lives.”

I didn’t stop blogging because I had given up on it, I stopped blogging because I lost focus of what was important. I made excuses to why I shouldn’t do it (I’m too tired, I’ll do it tomorrow, I should probably do homework) rather than trying to find reasons why I should do it.

It’s been 3 days since that conversation and I realized that I need to get serious about putting myself back on a strict schedule so I don’t lose sight of that focus.

God doesn’t place people in our lives for no reason. They’re either a blessing or a lesson and it’s up to us to figure out which category they fall into. Some will be a blessing, others will be a lesson.

God gave us the power of free will. It’s up to us to use it responsibly.