Category Archives: poetry

Family

It’s about ten PM at night and she’s been in bed for a few hours.

I go into her room to grab something, hoping i don’t wake her.

But she wakes up anyway and I apologize a thousand times, but she says “its okay honey” and she goes back to sleep.

I breathe a sigh of relief as I go back into the living room for a few more hours 

I’m a night owl

and I’ll carefully slip under the covers, so I don’t wake her. She looks so peaceful.

I stay the night at their house, and he gives me some pajamas and they fit just perfectly.

And I know that I’m the apple in his eye.

The amount of love I have for him is irreplacable. All my life, I was hoping for someone to love me like that. He shows me what it’s like to be treated right. He’s patient, he’s kind, he’s thoughtful, he’s sweet. Someone in my life I’d want to keep. 

Then I go back to her house. And we’ll probably have an argument or disagreement but I know that she still loves me no matter what and she’s working hard to support her family. The family that she lost for 6 years.

We all came back.

And that was the greatest gift for her. Holidays were spent together that we haven’t spent with in awhile.

And there’s never a dull moment, they always make me smile.

They’ve shown me what its like to love unconditionally.

They don’t threaten me with eviction, they don’t shut anything off, they gave me the one thing I’ve never really had and that was a choice.

For everyone who questions why I moved, or why I keep my past in my past. What’s portrayed on social media isn’t what happens within 4 walls and a roof.

For once I have people I can rely on, emotionally. They tell me they love me, they tell me that I’m pretty. They tell me to know my worth. 

They guide me in the right direction.

The 3 people I’m talking about here are my grandma, my papa and my mother. 

And one day I know I won’t have them, and I pray that day won’t happen for a long time.

So I hug them a little bit tighter.

I hold the ones I love dear

Nothing can stop me now, not even fear. 

Because now I truly believed that I am loved.

I truly believe the world is at my feet.

 

Photo by Kevin Delvecchio on Unsplash

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Home is where…

What if I told you what living in a small town is like?

Where the population is less than 5,000 and its an hour from the turnpike?

You can stop in at Debs for a cup of joe,

or explore the unknown.

Where people are friendly.

The hustle and bustle is unheard of,

where you can believe you’re good enough.

You can go to Moms, she’ll probably have supper cooking.

Where love isn’t lost, because you stopped looking.

You can go to Grandma’s if you want some pasta,

kick back, relax, and talk to Papa.

Home is where you are loved and your stomach is always full.

Where your presence is enough and you’re not fighting bulls.

Home is where your heart is, where you’re never alone.

A 5 minute drive to one of your own.

Home is where you’re happy,

where the birds fly free

Home is that once in a lifetime feeling.

Small town life is where I belong,

Home is my new favorite sound to a long lost song.

 

Photo by Karol Kaczorek on Unsplash

Angels vs Demons

I might have alot of people who will hate me for what I’m about to say

but I can’t hold it inside.

I seem to have lost my way,

I can’t seem to find the light.

Let me tell you about a man I met.

He was tall, dark, and wore black.

He told me I shouldn’t get upset,

but I did and I can’t get back.

He told me things, and he romanced me.

I won’t lie, it did feel good

I felt free

in ways I never could.

People tell me about a different man.

One whose dressed in white.

They say he’s got big plans,

that I don’t have to fight.

The catch is things won’t happen right away

All in good time.

But for me it’s just another day

in my world, the sun never shines.

The difference between the two is quite simple.

One is evil, one is good.

If I favor one, the other becomes crippled.

in ways they never were.

So now the question is which path do I take?

when both of them are on my back.

I should consider this choice I’ll have to make

but the knowledge I need, I lack.

One is filled with empty promises

the other is pure

I’m so scared of many more losses

I’m afraid this broken heart can’t be cured.

So I guess I’ll just remain stagnant for now

One scar forms after another

I’m being filled with self doubt

Surrendering? I don’t know how. 

There’s one question that still remains,

do I dance with death?

 or do I release control of these binding chains?

I’m running out of breath.

 

Photo by Greyson Joralemon on Unsplash

The Perfectly Angled Moon

The moon is at a perfect angle and is shining through my window. 

It’s absolutely beautiful. 

The crickets, the silence, the peace.

The shadow of everything at rest.

I realized that I was missing out on it.

I was finishing my nightly Netflix binge and was going to go straight to bed

before I saw this perfectly angled moon, and everything else I noticed along with it.

The crickets are in perfect harmony and the peace comes with the silence just like the clouds come with the rain. In this moment, I realize that nobody is telling them when to harmonize or when to appear. They just know.

And I realize that I am just like them. 

I am the chorus of crickets that I hear. Because my life is intertwined with other people. It is complete with other people. 

I am the peace that comes with the silence. Because I have the power to be at peace if I really choose to. 

When my work has been done for the day, I don’t have to stress. I can sit and admire this perfectly angled moon and everything that comes with it.

I am this perfectly angled moon. 

I am this perfectly angled moon because I have been molded into who I was supposed to be.

I am this perfectly angled moon because my shape is what makes me unique.

I am this perfectly angled moon because people don’t notice my beauty during the day. They wait until I am comfortable. Until I am ready to show them who I am. 

Just like this perfectly angled moon.

The moon is at a perfect angle and is shining through my window. 

It’s absolutely beautiful.

I look at myself in a mirror, and I see my reflection.

It is absolutely beautiful.

 

Photo by Francisco De Legarreta C. on Unsplash