“I will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.” Ezekiel 36:26-27
I have surrendered before, but not whole-heartedly. The bible even says that we should hand our whole heart over to the Lord. Proverbs 23:26 says, “My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.”
Notice that it doesn’t say My son, let your eyes observe my ways then give me your heart. That’s not how it works. Faith is believing in the unseen.
I love what 2 Corinthians 4:18 has to say about this. “As we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
But the things that are unseen are eternal.
Let that sink in for a minute.
With that being said, I surrendered my heart. I asked God to give me a new heart, and to bring Jesus into my life. I’ve learned more about Jesus and God in the last couple of weeks than I have the entire (almost) 22 years I have been alive.
I am nowhere near perfect. I am nowhere near deserving of this unconditional love that God gave me by sending his son to die for my sins. I am a mortal. A broken mortal. But if there’s anything that I have learned, it’s that God uses broken people for his glory. I mean Jesus associated with the broken people in His lifetime.
How can one be saved by Jesus if he/she was never broken to begin with? If we were never broken to begin with, we wouldn’t need to be saved. Now would we?
One of my biggest problems was men. I am friends with mostly men (I’ve been praying for that to change), I want a real romantic relationship with a man and I am so boy crazy that I go chasing love to try and fill that empty void that I have had.
When my sponsor told me that she wanted me to stay single for a year, I (internally) freaked out. How am I going to do this? I can’t do this! I like looking at them too much.
Today, I’m not freaking out. I have Jesus. He is the only Love that I need right now. And I intend to use the next 365 days wisely. I want to continue to grow in His word and let his Spirit move me in ways I won’t be able to fathom. I’m looking forward to this journey now. God has someone for me, but in His time and He wants me to know Him first.
Thank you all for going on this journey with me. I am excited for the future.
I was lost, but I have been found again.