The last couple months have been terrible.
I don’t want to get into any specifics, but I will say this.
I didn’t want to do anything and I was missing out on life.
I wanted to wake up and hit snooze every chance I had. Even though I would tell myself I wanted to be more productive.
My uncle passed away a few weeks ago. I drove out to PA to go see him (with my brother of course). I had to call off of work, which I hated doing.
I was depressed and I didn’t even realize it.
I didn’t want to keep up with the blog.
I enjoyed time with friends, but all I did was complain about how much I hated my job.
Then it happened. I had a mental breakdown. I had to make a tough decision and do what was best for me.
I was able to be with my friends, not complain about anything (for the first time in awhile), and even joke around and laugh. One of my friends even said that I was smiling so much it was beginning to creep him out.
I found out some things that I should have never found out. But I realized that God had meant for me to find those things out because He knew that I wasn’t in a good place.
He knew that I needed better, and he helped me get to that point.
God is there if you listen. God was there when I had some conversations with a few close friends and my stepmom.
The only thing I had to do was listen to the advice that was given. Which isn’t always easy.
Reality is, nothing is easy. Life is full of choices. Sometimes easy ones, mostly hard ones.
Acts 8:26-29 says “Now an angel of the Lord said to Phillip, go South to the road-the desert road-that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza. So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of the Kandake. This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship and on his way home he was sitting in his chariot reading the Book of Isaiah the prophet. The spirit told Phillip, go to that chariot and stay near it.”
We talked about this story a few weeks ago at my church group. God had told Phillip to approach someone and have a conversation with someone at this chariot. A man that Phillip had never met, that he didn’t even know. I can’t say what was running through Phillips mine but I know that I would never be able to approach a random person and start having a conversation with them.
However, Phillip obeyed. And great things came out of it (you should read the full story!) because Phillip had obeyed.
I was in the same situation with different circumstances.
However, like Phillip, I had to listen to the advice that was given to me. If you ask for advice, but don’t listen to it, chances are the results are going to be disastrous. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.
My point is, if you put yourself first once in awhile and do whats best for you, you’ll be better off. You’ll be a lot happier, you’ll appreciate things on a level much deeper than you could ever comprehend.
I’m not missing my brothers graduation.
I’m going to Cedar Point.
I refuse to miss out on my own life.